Well learning the language is not enough. For serious Francophiles, learning the language is only part of the process. Real “frenchification” requires a different kind of fluency: understanding the French mindset. Follow these 11 steps…
un (one)
While eating a delicious meal, talk about other appetizing meals you ate, could eat, will eat, should eat, want to eat, definitely have to eat.
– What a delicious blanquette!
– Indeed, I have to give you my secret family recipe of “le lapin en compote”!
deux (two)
Make sure your sense of humour is strong and resilient. The French live for irony, maybe I should say they ARE irony themselves and tend to tease everyone. Don’t mistake a harmless joke for rudeness.
– Can you drop me at home tonight, I live next door to your place?
– No!
trois (three)
Be ready to debate any point, even if you have no reason to. The sentence, “I have to disagree in some way” can pop into conversation at any time.
– I don’t agree!
– Why?
– Because, hummm I don’t know yet…
quatre (four)
Learn to find the negative side of any good situation, because there is always a “but”.
– The weather is beautiful today
– Yeah, but it will rain tomorrow!
cinq (five)
Dress mostly in blue, grey, black or white: this limits the chance for embarrassing fashion faux pas. Fashion faux pas are not acceptable!
A multicoloured shirt?! You cannot do that!
six (six)
Food takes precedence over EVERYTHING, and good food should always be enjoyed with good wine.
– Well let’s talk about our contract
– Well let me finish my glass of Bordeaux first!
sept (seven)
Get over your romantic misconceptions of “the City of Lights”. Yes, Paris is for lovers – if you’re a tourist!
– Lets kiss on the Pont des Arts
– No way I am not a foreigner…
huit (eight)
Feel free to complain openly. It’s an acceptable form of self-expression.
– I am so fed up with people complaining all the time
– Tell me about it!
neuf (nine)
Spend several hours sitting around a table with friends and family, and stay as long as food keeps coming.
– Should we leave the table for a little walk?
– Not yet it is only four o’clock we haven’t had the deserts (and not puddings)
dix (ten)
Don’t worry: you aren’t the only one making spelling mistakes! Even the French struggle with writing their own language. How many n’s or m’s in that word again? What’s the silly grammar rule I should use for this particular sentence?
Should I write “notemment” with an e or “notamment” with an a ?
onze (eleven)
Have something to say? Take to the streets! Even if you have nothing to say…
It is forbidden to forbid
Don’t cut state subsidies. I love kittens
